Ringtailed
by TheBooksofEli
Summary: Crossover with Rigby, Sly Cooper and Rocket Raccoon. They meet each other looking for the same artifact. After they are all busted by Interpol, they bond in prison and plan something epic.
1. The Heist

This is a crossover of Regular Show with Sly Cooper and Guardians of the Galaxy - raccoon-wise :) I don't own these characters or their franchises.

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><p><strong>Ringtailed<strong>

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><p>Planet: Terra, Dominion: California, Los Angeles at 21:15:05<p>

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><p>"Just look at all this. Rocket, I forgot to mention, this is one of the highest vantage points overlooking the city."<p>

"Well, gotta say, Quill, well picked. Shame we'll have to loot in in a minute or so," smirked Rocket, glancing at a red visor on his gun scanning the city. Suddenly the gun turned greed and formed a light border around a glass skyscraper.

"Bingo! We've got it!"

"That's where they're keeping it?"

"I'm heading out, you just get the spaceship ready, this won't take long at all," said Rocket, leaping down the cliff.

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><p>Los Angeles, CA, 9:15<p>

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><p>"Alright, Sly, remember you've only got one chance to steal this. It's a rare diamond that was excavated in the days of prehistoric Paris coined 'Le Coeur de Dinosaure' or 'The Heart of the Dinosaur'."<p>

"All the better to add it to the Cooper collection then," Sly smirked.

"Right," Bentley dismissed his remark, "-so it's very fragile and very expensive. Unfortunately, you won't be able to get in using the front door."

"Oh please, Bentley, we both know how much I hate the front door - it's no fun."

"I thought you'd say that. Anyway, its on the 43rd floor but you'll have to look around because there are alot of corridors. Maneuver yourself up to the top. Murray and I will be waiting at the bottom. Good luck, as always."

"Thanks, Bentley. I won't be long. If you get in trouble let me know."

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><p>Johnson's Elevated Art Museum, Los Angeles, CA, 9:28 PM<p>

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><p>"Rigby, the 43rd floor is off limits."<p>

"Oh whatever, Mordecai. Haven't you ever wondered what they're hiding up there?" said Rigby, climbing the stairs.

"Well, yes, but whatever it is, I'm sure the museum owner wouldn't want you tresspassing."

"He's not here, is he? Okay then, now that that's established, I continue my search," Rigby started prying open the metal door.

"You want Benson on our asses again about not following orders?"

"Benson can kiss my-" Just then, the door flung open and Rigby fell flat on his chest. He looked up from the ground and saw corridor after corridor.

"Don't even tnink about it!"

"Oh, c'mon Mordecai. Live a little."

"_I'll_ live, just not behind bars."

"Oh, go kiss up to Benson," Rigby rushed in.

"Benson will hear about this one!"

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><p>Rigby ran up, down, around, sideways and beyond corridor after corridor, still just an empty, monochromatic maze, then a glitter of ruby showed its sweet face, poking through the holes around the prehistoric bone. Rigby read the display, 'Le Coeur de Dinosaure'.<p>

"What is this supposed to say?"

"None of you beeswax, kid," said Rocket, standing at the end of the hallway pointing his big gun at Rigby. "Step away from the goods and no one will get a hole in their chest," he finished with a sligtht grin, squinting an eye through the sight. A split-second later, the glass shattered in front of them.

"Not on my watch!"

"Who the hell are you?" asked a surprised Rocket. Now the three raccoons stood triangulating each other.

"Woah, wait, what's happening? Are you guys guarding this? Look, I'm sorry, I just wanted to-"

"Steal it?" asked Sly.

"No one's taking that but me!" Rocket tested.

"Like hell you will!" Rigby ran off with the artifact down the corridor. Sly butted Rocket down to the ground and lauched the gun down the opposite side of the corridor all within two moves of his cane and raced after Rigby. Rocket ran back to his weapon and began to fire. **"GET BACK HERE YOU BASTARDS!"**

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><p>Rigby reached the outside terrace and turned around to find Sly chasing shortly behind with his cane upright. Rigby knew the only way out now was down, without thinking he climbed onto the railing and jumped down with the encased gem. Sly leapt after him, just as soon as he left the ground the terrace exploded from a blast out of Rocket's gun - Rigby, Sly, the 'Heart of the Dinosaur' and the debris fell fast.<p>

"Dammit!"

Sly retrieved his cane. "Hold on!" Rigby didn't hesitate. Sly latched onto a nearby terrace and they all stoped abruptly, the fall forced Sly to the end of his cane and Rigby down to end of Sly's tail. Sly squinted his eyes and grimaced in pain, holding on desperately to both the cane and the menace on his tail-end. Suddenly, they heard a shatter; the precious ruby crashed down to earth in front of the Cooper Van. Murray sped the van backwards just in time to dodge the debris.

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><p>Back at the top, Rocket stared down at the ruby as it shattered into pieces. Rocket turned around and found a concourse of SWAT surrounding him. Rocket mumbled to himself.<p>

"Aw fuck."

"DROP THE WEAPON! PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! NOW!"

Rocket complied then felt a dart puncture his neck, then several more, he fell to his knees out cold.

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><p>Sly continued to hang by his cane, opening his eyes, he saw Carmelita Fox above him behind the terrace in front of a large group of soldiers, locking her gun between his deceitul yet lovely eyes.<p>

"Don't think you're getting out of this one."

"Aw. Does this mean I have to cancel our reservation?"

"No more games, raccoon. Get up here and..." She paused to find somebody else dangling on his tail. "I see you've brought along a new partner-in-crime."

"Don't know the kid. He was just there and I saved him from falling to his death."

"Ha! Nice one! Now get up."

Sly obeyed. "Whatever you say, sweetheart."


	2. The Usual Suspects

**Chapter 2 - The Usual Suspects**

"Look, Miss, I wasn't apart of any of this," Rigby shouted.

"Save it, short stuff. You're just as resopnsible as the rest of us," Rocket told Rigby. "Cooperation is key!" he whispered.

"With all due respect, Carmelita," said Sly, "I was only returning an item. So, in a way, I was doing your whole lollipop guild back there a favor, right?"

"Wrong, Cooper, you and your affiliates can all line up and smile for the camera."

"Lady, for Godsakes, I'm on the order of the Galaxy, you've got no right to put me in one of your cages with these two."

"Enough!"

"What was that about cooperation?" Rigby taunted Rocket.

"Just can it, will ya?"

The three in the police lineup stood with significantly different looks: Rocket with a snarl, Sly with a smug grin, and Rigby embarrasedly hiding his face.

Sly glanced over, "What's the point, smalls? You've already been caught. Might as well let them see your face."

"Sly, shut up! All of you, don't talk to each other and fall in to the next room!" Carmelita barked back.

"With pleasure, gorgeous."

Carlemita leaned back in her chair and watched all three of them move out, locking on Sly from behind.

"Take the night off, boys," she told the guards. As soon as they left the room, she thought out loud:

"Finally, I caught him for good. He and his new friends won't be getting out anytime soon. The perimeter is crawling with guards, and the best part: nobody gets in or out unless I say so - just the way I like it. Maybe this time I can actually straighten Sly out for a change."


	3. It's Always Awkward In Prison

**Chapter 3 - It's Always Awkward In Prison**

Rigby and the others heard the loud buzz and the door unlocked. Behind the door was a burly guard in police-like garb with latex gloves on.

"Strip, eyes closed, head forward, spread your arms and legs. Move only when I say."

He beckoned Rigby to step forward and began to pat him down, missing no groove or hidden space on his body. Then Sly came forward following procedure.

"We took your cane already,.. that's a nice one, why do you take it with you everywhere? Where did you get it?"

"Family secret, sir."

The guard felt disappointed for his reluctance. "Well, other than that, this locket of you and...oooh, who's this little dame?"

"The one and only," Sly shamelessly shrugged.

"Move along, ladykiller. Next!"

"Top that, big shot," Sly teased Rocket. Rocket complacently moved forward and pulled of his jumpsuit. The guard startled in awe after the inspection.

"Two caches of firepower I've never even see before, this glass visor, a giant ass gun that managed to compress itself into the size of a pen, explosives of all kind, a sack of assorted nuts and bolts, The Unforgiveable Fire cassette by U2 with a headset and player, five bombs, a pack of AAA batteries, loose change and a polaroid of, I guess, some spacey galaxy?"

"My home, pig," Rocket murmured.

"Yeah, whatever you say, Han Solo," the guard flicked the picture aside. Rocket snickered.

"You havent even checked the basement yet."

"Oh God. Seriously man, or, raccoon?"

"I'm neither."

Five minutes later, the guard sent Rocket with the other two. Rocket shot back at Sly.

"Topped it."

"All of you move forward," commanded the guard.

The door shut close behind them and guard sat dumbfounded after finding something else: a detonator and a small ball of electric cords wound together.

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><p>Inside the new room with white tiled walls and floor, suddenly, the shower heads spurted cold water on the three. The cold made them scream all sorts of things that it was impossible to tell who said what.<p>

"Damn!"

"Shit! That's cold!"

"Aw come on!"

"Dear Lord!"

"Shut it off!"

"Why are we still here?"

"Ok! I think we're clean now!"

"You can stop the water, we're good!"

"Goddamit please cut it off!"

"Dude, stop looking at me!"

"Did you really just-?"

"Help!"

After a good 5 minutes, the water finally shut off, at the other side of the room was a towel for each. Instinctively, they raced after the towels. Sly stepped back after realizing Rocket and Rigby were at each other's throats for the same towels. In the midst of the action, Sly slipped in and simply picked a towel of the ground and left out through the next door. Meanwhile, Rocket managed to strangle Rigby against the tiled wall by the neck.


End file.
